Is it a Girl? Is it a Woman? No, it’s a Prototype!

Sometimes I wonder what Eve, the first woman on earth looked like. Did Adam fall for her just because she was the only woman on planet earth, or did she have a specific look and bodily dimensions that lead to the ‘ideal women’ being condemned to have those specific attributes? I have very basic knowledge about Adam and Eve, however I would like to know what lead to everyone figuring out what a perfect woman should look like. What is all the hue and cry about size 0, and the 36-24-36 dimensions?

If you look back into history, in the 18^th century, the common belief was that if a woman was heavy and voluptuous, it meant that she was intelligent, and would bear healthy children. Well, we know how long that lasted! I wonder what it is like in the minds of all those women who put themselves through starvation and degradation, who deny themselves FOOD to look like a sack of bones. What is it, is it so that more and more men would tail you like a pack of wolves? Is that it? Or is it a self esteem issue? Like Sheldon Cooper would ask, “Is your bodily mass somehow connected to your self-worth?”

I myself am a UK size 18, and I will not deny that there have been times when I myself have wished that I was thinner, but not a sack of bones, NEVER a sack of bones. Then I give myself a good punch (I can do that now, with all the basic kickboxing training I have had) and remind myself that it doesn’t matter. Why do we want to be like every other ‘skinny chic’ we encounter? Society has fed us with this bullshit long enough, and now we feel like anything more than ‘skinny’ is just unacceptable. Its like creating robots, the next one is going to be just like the last one. Why do we let others decide what we must look and be like?

The most appalling thing that I find is that women themselves look down upon other women for the way they look. I mean come on bitches, don’t we have the male population to make us feel bad enough? Do we have to turn against each other too? Since time immemorial, we have asked the question, “Can men and women be ‘just friends’?” however, the real question is can women be friends without biting each other’s heads off! Okay, that’s a completely different train wreck of a thought process, and let’s leave the opening of that Pandora’s Box to another rainy day.

Coming back to the million dollar question, why do we want to be yet another prototype? I am by no means saying that you must simply forget about your health and indulge in complete gluttony, but why deny yourself the occasional pleasure of a delicious, soft, freshly baked chocolate cake for a dude who looks like something Thor coughed up and spat out? Here are two pictures below, which one would you choose?

Why Choose TV Shows Over People

Well, it is safe to say that my obsession over TV shows has reached its peak, since I think it is better to replace with people, and rightfully so. However, this is not some spur in the moment thought, it is something that has actually been playing on my mind for a while now. Here are a few reasons why I think this could be a good idea:

1.       You will know exactly when to expect from a TV show. Yes, they come once a year, and you know the duration for what it will last. There are no stupid tantrums like, “Where were you when I needed you?” and “You promised me so-and-so, but you failed to do so!” Nope, you know exactly what you are getting into, and what you will get out of it.

2.       There is so much to learn from them. All shows, no matter what the genre, have so much to teach you, if only you pay heed, unlike people who have the same old morals and lectures to give out. Booooorrrrriiinnnggggg!

3.       TV shows give you a kind of psychological release. Say for example, when you watch Dexter, and he says ‘I really need a kill tonight,’ in some corner of your mind you think ‘Yeah baby, go get it, I wish I could too, but I guess will have to live it through you.’ There is a place for your deepest and most brazen thoughts to fester, thoughts that if you say out loud, people may flee from your vicinity like you have sprouted an extra head on your shoulder!

4.       The feel of belonging to a community. Yes, I know, this sort of contradicts my own train of thoughts about TV shows being better than people and communities made of people, but when you obsess over a TV show, you join the hoards of other fans and become a part of a fandom that binds you together, and you feel less weird and awkward amongst ‘adorable ordinary people’ (Sherlock style).

I could go on and on, but these are the foremost reasons that I would pick TV shows over people any day of the week. Sure, you can argue all you like about companionship and blah and blah, but there is nothing better than personal experience, and my experience says that when you need people the most, they walk out, find a hundred other things to do and then some. TV shows have always been there, when everyone left, they walked in, and man, they have been worth every single extended download limit and more. My vote goes for them, anytime, any day. 

To The Brink of Insanity and Back

There are always times in your life when you wonder when was it that all the laughter died; when was it that your face began to display more frowns and blank expressions and less smiles. Its scary, really, when you come to think of it, when you are in your 20’s and yet you feel like an old hag who has lived the best years of her life.

You know you are losing it when Microsoft Word corrects your grammar, the basic singular and plural stuff. Like seriously? Microsoft Word? That thing has less of a grasp on grammar than a two year old. And yet, it is true. When did I turn into that person? That once sharp mind is now reduced to this muddled state.

Then again you are only made to bear what you give to the world, so it is safe to assume that all the suffering that you go through is actually something that you have made someone else suffer. Life is really a full circle, believe me on that.

One day you think that just because you haven’t thought about a person for a while, haven’t wished them on holidays and special occasions, you are finally free from their grasp, or rather from the grasp of their blasted memories. However, that is not true. Memories don’t really leave us. They are merely waiting in the dark abyss of your mind, waiting to spring like a volcano when you least expect it, to catch you unawares and pull you down into that same old pit of self doubt and insecurities. And all the things that you have done so hard to forget or shove in some unsuspecting corner of your mind suddenly are out there in the open. Its like an appendix really, dormant, until it erupts and then there is no stopping it. Wait, now I am resorting to metaphors from the medical world? See, this is what friggin memories do to you.

A little part of every creative person’s mind is said to be insane. Maybe I got more than my fair share of insanity, I don’t know. Not that I am complaining, I would rather be slightly more insane than what is normally accepted than be an uptight 21^st century version of Cousin Violet from Downton Abbey (Although she is really awesome; she is the granny many wish for, but only few are lucky enough to have).

Anyway, where was I? Yeah, memories. Well, I think the best way to deal with it all is to accept it as it comes, to know that somewhere after all the pain and hurt you are never going to be the same, maybe your smile will have a little less of a curve than before and maybe some of that charming innocent spark will have gone out of your eyes, but again it’s fire that moulds the iron, not cotton candy.

Be grateful for pain, cos without true suffering there would be no true happiness. Does that make even the slightest bit of sense? Okay, fine, I need to replenish my stock of Old Monk cos now I am just rambling on like an old fool.

The Songs That Say It All

Whenever someone remarks over a TV show, more often than not its about the cast, or the plot; however, for me what clicks in a TV show is the theme song. Agreed, I do get obsessed with the cast or the intricate plot, but the theme song is where my real obsession lies. From listening to it for hours no end to setting it as my ringtone, I have done it all. Here is a little about the shows and a lot about the theme songs and where to find them.

Sherlock

Originally, Sherlock Holmes lived in the 1980’s and smoked a pipe for recreation, and the modern day Sherlock isn’t too far along. He does indulge in ‘recreational drugs’ and nicotine patches, besides that he is completely tech-savvy, going at it with the latest gadgets and scientific means of experimenting. The background score and the theme song are composed by David Arnold and Michael Price. Caution: Before you know it you will be hooked on and will be listening to the entire soundtrack back to back without a pause. You have been warned!

You can download the complete soundtrack on torrents from the link below:

http://thepiratebay.se/torrent/7036156/BBC_Sherlock__Season_One_Soundtrack_[OST]

Homeland

Phew! What can I say about this show that will do it justice? Merely mentioning its name gives me the chills (which has got nothing to do with the weather in Mumbai, which only alternates between hot and very hot). The plot is very simple, a Marine who was captured and held by the al-Qaeda as a prisoner of war in Afghanistan ‘turns’ against the US, threatening national security. On his trail is Carrie Mathison, the intense and bi-polar CIA officer, who seems to be the only one who can see right through him. Like my friend Prajakta says, “If nothing else, this show must come with a statutory warning stating ‘Not for persons suffering from a heart condition’”. The theme song is a jazz number. It seems like an odd choice for a psychological thriller, yet it brilliantly fits. Of course the song in the link below doesn’t have the vigilant Carrie Mathison saying in the background, “I am just trying to make sure that we don’t get hit again!” But then, you can’t have everything, can you?

You can download the song through this link

http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=20858720&song=Terminal+7

Dexter

Say what you may about how gory or disgusting the show gets at times, the idea of a vigilante serial killer who is also a blood-splatter analyst in his ‘fake life’ (or so he thinks) appeals to everyone at one point or another. This show is known for its season-long plots with breathtaking twists that blow your brains away. And of course the smolderingly hot Debra Morgan who can make a nun turn lesbian. The theme song of Dexter is a music piece composed by Daniel Licht. Although, the video simply relays Dexter’s early morning ritual of waking up, having breakfast, dressing up, trust me, it is creepier than a Psycho joining you in the shower.

You can download the song through this link

http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=6076235&song=dexter+theme

2 Broke Girls

The executive producers of Sex and the City have struck gold once again. Voted as the Best American Comedy of 2011, this show is back with a bang in season 2. Billionaire-princess-turned-broke Caroline finds brought-up-by-an-alcoholic-mom Max and thus begins the most hilarious roller coaster ride of all times. Caroline with her peppy and I-went-to-Wharton tag line along with Max’s stick it in your face attitude and a rack that could stop traffic, make for the most bizarre friends ever. The theme song ‘Second Chance’ also plays as a background score at various instances in the show.

You can download the song through this link

http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=9241342&song=Second+Chance

                        

Congratulations! We’re living in the 1920’s Britan. Not.

Recently I came across this TV show Downton Abbey, it a period drama set in the village of Yorkshire in the UK during the 1920’s. It struck me that the cultural beliefs that they held in the year 1920 are not too different from those that we hold in India currently. Here is how:

Thou shall not believe in something as foolish as ‘love marriages’. This is the most in-your-face similarity that I found. Agreed, back then there were Earls and Dukes and inheritances at stake and so marriages were ‘arranged’ so as to stick to their own kind. So what’s all the hue and cry against love marriages in India in this time and age? What are you afraid of; some cute North Indian gene spoiling the proportion of your Gujju Dhokla?

Thou shall behave like a ‘virtuous lady’ at all times. This is a funny one, because despite living in a world where when you first move into a new city the first question out of your mouth is, “How is the night life around here?”, and yet we want the girls and women to behave like they have a golden halo behind their heads. Like seriously, what’s with the obsession of wanting to wed an angel when instead your married life would be more entertaining if she is an ex-stripper named Angel?

Thou shall be well versed with all household duties. There are actually finishing schools that offer courses in cooking, stitching, cleaning, home decorations and also child development. And honestly, they will never run out of business as long as we keep expecting women to be the one stop shop for all household needs. I would be surprised if the marketing logo of these schools doesn't resemble a Goddess, only instead if a spear and a chakra, she will be holding spoons and knitting needles.

All jokes apart, my intention is not to insult beliefs, or look down on someone who doesn't think or behave like I do. I simply feel that we live in a world of make-belief where we want to pretend that times haven’t changed, and where values and beliefs are thrust upon the younger generations, leaving no room for them to discover their own path. If the youth isn’t given to freedom to slip and learn, then we are simply taking one step forward towards progress and back two towards frustration and disappointment.

Better than the best

I am a huge fan of American and British television shows. I would go so far as to say that I am addicted to them. Two of my favourite shows of all times have been Dexter and Fringe. I used to swear on my life that those were two of the most intriguing shows I had ever laid eyes on. However, recently I came across a couple of shows that made both these favourite shows of mine seem lame and only mildly interesting at best.

I was stunned and it got me thinking that this happens more often than not in life; just when we think that this is it, it can’t get better than this, life proves us wrong by throwing at us something better than the best. All it requires out of us is some patience. Why can’t we wait? Why do we want what we want exactly when we want it? Why is it so hard to believe that life has bigger plans for us? Sometimes we put up with something that we think is the best thing that has ever happened to us, we feel like letting go of it would be worse than death itself. In the process we end up hurting ourselves, time and again, and yet we don’t instead choose to move on and wait for what awaits us in the future.

If there is anything that I have learnt it is that life always has something better to offer. Just before I had come to this city, I had had a bad falling out with one of my best friends. It was devastating. And just when I thought that the kind of friendship I had seen portrayed ‘Friends’ was a myth and too good to be true, I met this extraordinary person who restored my faith in friendship and in fate itself. Today we are almost like soul sisters and I shudder to think how barren life was before I had discovered this bond. All I had to do was wait, have patience, and I finally found the kind of BFF I had always been looking for.

Don’t go through unnecessary pain and tolerate cruelty and injustice at the hands of someone who doesn’t value you enough just cos you are afraid that you may miss out on the best thing that ever happened to you. If it was really that great or meant to be, would it be so difficult and painful? 

From ‘could be’ to ‘maybe’

We have all been sold the idea of a ‘Soul mate’, by books, or movies or TV shows. Since time immemorial, man has always been on a quest to find that one person who is the other half of his soul, the one true companion who understands and loves him like no other. Times have changed, the world has progressed tremendously, in various aspects, but what has always remained a constant is the search for that one true love (unless of course you are a Gujju chick born with the ‘$’ symbol imprinted on the your eyes and embedded in your genes; and are also the poster girl for “Gold-diggers Are Us”, in which case your true love is money, honey).

In our lives, if we are lucky, there comes a time, or a moment when we tend to get to know a person, a complete stranger, with whom we seem to form an unexplainable connection. The kind of connection where you have to merely think of that person and the next moment you receive a call or a text from that person; you get the drift. And you think to yourself, ‘Man! This is awesome; is it for real?’ Maybe it is. But them you are also scared as it is almost too good to be true. You probably think to yourself that maybe you are making too much of it, and that it isn’t really that spectacular.

Many of us have this image in our heads of ‘The Soul mate’. We have carried it around in our mind long enough to actually conjure up the person out of pure imagination. We think, ‘How difficult is it? The world is huge, surely there is one such person who matches the one I have in my mind?’ there is nothing wrong in thinking so, only that in the quest of something that is merely a figment of your imagination, you may tend to let go of the real, breathing person whom you have a strong bond with. You may tend to let go of that person just because that person may lack a few traits that you have always wanted in the love of your life. What is more pitiable is if these traits happen to be of the physical aspect. What, are you looking for a mannequin to put up in your shop, or for a life partner?

Everyone has their own fish to fry, and I am no one to judge or advice. All I can say is think, imagine yourself at the age of say 50, when you are at the top of the game, have a successful career, beautiful children; whom would you like to come home to? A gorgeous trophy-wife who is too busy attending a ‘kitty party’ or splurging your money on an impulsive shopping spree to give you a warm hug and a kiss when you return home from work; or a warm and cheerful person who would be all ears when you discuss your day, and be your rock when your boss gives you a tough day?

This doesn’t only apply to men; women can and are capable of being equally superficial, if not more. We want others to be envious of us for having the most good looking person by our side. Its how humans, irrespective of their gender, are programmed to be; we would rather be envied and approved of by the society than make ourselves happy by choosing someone who makes us happy. But are those people whose opinions and approval you give a damn about going to be there to warm your bed or lend you support when times get rough? No, its going to be the person you choose to be with. Don’t let go of what could be the most beautiful relationship of your life for something that may or may not be.